


Short Man's Syndrome

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-24
Updated: 2006-10-24
Packaged: 2018-09-03 20:34:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8729137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: They eyed each other for a minute, before Jared broke out into a wide, sunny grin and slapped Tom on the back. "Fuck you, man. I'm just joking. The name's Jared," he'd said, sticking out a huge paw and pumping Tom's hand in a shake that almost pulled him off his feet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Title** \- Short Man's Syndrome  
**Pairing** \- Tom, Jared, non-explicit JA/JP  
**Word Count** \- 2300  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_**Short Man's Syndrome**_  
  
  
  
Tom remembers the first conversation he ever had with Jared. It went something like this:  
  
_Tom_ : “Damn. You’re really tall.”  
  
_Jared_ : “Actually, I think that’s the reason I was hired.”  
  
_Tom_ : “Can you even act?”  
  
_Jared_ : “I don’t know, man. Can _you_?”  
  
They eyed each other for a minute, before Jared broke out into a wide, sunny grin and slapped Tom on the back. “Fuck you, man. I’m just joking. The name’s Jared,” he’d said, sticking out a huge paw and pumping Tom’s hand in a shake that almost pulled him off his feet.   
  
“Hey,” Tom had said. “I’m Tom.”  
  
“Yeah. I know. You’re _Superman_.” Jared had joked.   
  
Tom had known Jared for less than a minute before he was flipping him off on the set of _Cheaper By The Dozen_. It’s been downhill ever since.   
  
*  
  
When Tom and Jamie split up, he gets tired real fast of everyone hanging around all the time, asking him over and over again if he’s okay, is everything all right, how is he _doing_ , really.   
  
“She’s not dead,” Tom snaps on more than one occasion. “Her new boyfriend will be more than happy to clear that up for you.”  
  
Erica backs up in his trailer, hands held high in the air. “Sorry I asked, Mr. Personality.”  
  
Tom closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and tries to count sheep or chickens or headless ex-wives – whatever the fuck his therapist told him would help “ease the stress” in times like these.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says calmly. “And I appreciate the concern. It’s just that—“  
  
“ – I’m an arrogant asshole who gets off on self-pity and ego-stroking,” Jared sing-songs from the trailer doorway. Tom opens his eyes and glares at Jared who’s grinning like a fool. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Jared adds. He holds his hand up against his chest and tries to look surprised. “Did I say that out loud?”  
  
Erica cracks up – the full hand clapping, knee slapping kind of laughing that she does – and says, “Hey, Jared.”  
  
Jared wanders in and kisses her on the cheek, all polite cowboy charm and southern hospitality. Over the years, Tom’s seen Jared put on the act more times than he can remember. It never fails to amaze him how much people eat that shit up.   
  
Not that Jared’s faking it all the time – he genuinely _is_ a nice guy, which is more than Tom can say about ninety-eight percent of the people in their business. It’s just that Jared’s so much more than he ever lets on: he can smile and be polite, full of “Thank you, ma’am’s,” and “How do you do’s?”; but get a few drinks in him at bar on a Friday night, and he’s as low down and dirty as any other guy Tom’s ever known.   
  
And thank Fuck, because people who are nice all the time freak Tom out.   
  
“So, hey,” Jared says. Erica waves a goodbye, and Jared smiles and waves, completely checking out her ass as she walks out the door. She’s barely gone a minute when Jared whistles quietly and says, “Man, she’s got some—“  
  
“You’re a dog, Jared.” Tom cuts him off, because the one thing Tom feels like talking about less than his divorce is Erica’s rack. “So what’s up?” Tom asks. He sits down on his couch and starts flipping through TV channels. “You and your ghost-hunting boyfriend get into a lover’s quarrel?”  
  
Jared gives him the finger, but the tops of his cheeks go the littlest bit pink, and aww, Jared’s blushing because Tom started talking about Jensen. Isn’t that the sweetest thing.   
  
Jared picks up a cowboy boot coaster from the table and flings it at Tom’s head. “Fuck off.”  
  
“Bite me.”  
  
“Blow me.”  
  
“You wish,” Tom says around a grin. Jared leans his head back and laughs loud enough to shake the windows of the trailer.   
  
“Riiiiiiight,” Jared drawls. “Because I’d hook up with some pretty boy poser like yourself.”  
  
Tom grabs his dick through his jeans. “Who you calling ‘boy’, _boy_.” Tom’s Texas accent is for shit, but it cracks Jared up anyway.   
  
Tom laughs and leans back, moving over when Jared sits next to him. They both stick their feet up on the coffee table, kicking over an ashtray and two movie scripts when they do. Jared takes the remote after a few minutes, leaving it on some Vancouver-based reality show that makes Tom want to poke his eyes out.   
  
“This is awful,” Tom says after giving up trying to figure out who was dating whom on the screen. This show might even be worse than Smallville.   
  
“Then let’s go out tonight,” Jared says, and goddamn, Tom should have seen that one coming. Jared had been trying to get all of them to go out for days now, but Tom kept being able to duck his calls and visits. Jared was cool to hang out with, but a whole night, with the bar and the drinking and Mike with the goddamn karaoke, and—  
  
“Nah.” Tom shakes his head. “Not tonight.”  
  
Jared slaps his hands against his thighs and gets right up. “All right, then” he says, and damn, that was easier than Tom thought. “I’ll just call Mikey and Jensen and have them come out here instead.”  
  
Oh, god. “Jared, wait—“  
  
“I’ll have them pick up some beers and booze, and oh, hey, didn’t Mike say he actually got his _own_ karaoke machine recently?” Jared says around a smirk. Tom gets a sudden urge to kick his ass.   
  
“That’s not fair,” Tom says, trying to pitch his voice as low and threatening as he can. He stands up because even if Jared is taller, Tom could be not _sitting down_ while Jared apparently fucks him in the ass.   
  
“Yeah. Maybe I’ll have them get a _lot_ of booze. You know, so we all have to stay over.” He rubs his chin, trying to look menacing, and Tom can’t help it. He busts out laughing. “What? I mean, I don’t know about you, but I, personally, can’t think of anything better than being trapped in a trailer all weekend with a drunk, singing, Rosenbaum.”  
  
Tom grabs his coat. “I really hate you.”  
  
“I’m awesome,” Jared beams. “And you love it.”  
  
Tom rolls his eyes and flaps his hand dismissively. He wants to stay pissy, but the truth is, he’s already smiling more, and is in a better mood than he’s been in all week. Jared claps him on the shoulder, and when Tom turns, he can see that underneath all the joking, Jared really wants to help. “Thanks,” Tom says, quietly.   
  
Jared’s hand tightens briefly, before he pulls away. “Don’t mention it.”  
  
Tom checks his pockets for his money, keys, wallet - all the normal stuff while Jared calls for a car. “You want to just drive?” Tom asks.  
  
Jared finishes giving the address and hangs up. “No fucking way. I want to get wasted tonight. And unless you plan on flying me there on the back of your girlie, red cape or something…”  
  
Tom punches Jared, who overreacts and folds his body in half, clutching his side and moaning. Tom says, “Or maybe I could have Sam move us there with his _mind_ , freakboy.”  
  
Jared stands up laughing and reaches out to smack the side of Tom’s head. When the car pulls up they barely hear it over the headlocks they’re giving each other.  
  
*  
  
The bar is quiet for a Friday. Tom leans back, watching as Mike hits on everything in a skirt, and Jensen beats Kim’s ass at darts. He feels Jared kick his foot under the table and looks up as Jared waves an empty beer bottle in his face.   
  
“You ready for another?”  
  
Tom finishes his drink and pushes the glass toward Jared. “Sure.”  
  
Tom’s fine with this, the whole going out at night with the guys. He thought he was done with it when he got married but shit happens, things change. When it comes down to it he has some good friends, which is more than a lot of people can say.   
  
He catches Jared’s eye and smiles. Jared stands up, taking the empty bottles and glasses with him. “All right, lemme head over and see what time Jensen plans on leaving and then I’ll get another round.”  
  
Tom is feeling relaxed and easy, not thinking about much of anything. He jerks his head toward Jensen and says, “You checking in with your better half? Man, it’s like you two are dating or something.”  
  
Jared freezes. That’s the only word for it. He flat out _freezes_ , and Tom watches him for a second, then blinks when a few pieces fall into place. “Holy fucking shit.”  
  
Jared sits back down. “Tom, listen—“  
  
“Holy fuck, you _are_ dating.” Not that Tom’s surprised about either of them dating a guy - he’s known about Jared and Jensen, separately, for years. He’d just never thought of Jared and Jensen _together_.  
  
Jared narrows his eyes. “We’re not ‘dating’, because we’re not thirteen year old girls.”  
  
“Ok. Fine. You and Jensen are fucking.” Which is actually no surprise, now that he thinks about it. Tom knows Jensen and, oh man, if this isn’t just par for the damned course with that guy.   
  
Jared’s turning pinker by the minute. His whole face looks like it’s going up in flames. “Dude.”  
  
“Shit, Jared, you know how Jensen is, better than anybody,” Tom hates the way he sounds: like he’s arguing or scolding, but he can’t stop himself. And it’s not like he doesn’t like Jensen, because he does. He just likes Jared better, has known Jared longer, and if anyone’s going to wind up being the fuckee in this relationship, it sure as hell isn’t going to be Jensen. Tom knows that for a fact, and he hates it.   
  
“Dude. We’re just hanging out,” Jared says quietly. “It’s nothing, I’m serious.”  
  
Tom watches Jared’s eyes. The guy can’t lie for shit, and he seems to be genuine, so—“Yeah. Yeah, all right. Fine.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Jared, it’s all good.”  
  
“Because I don’t want this to be weird, or anything.” Jared looks completely flipped out and worried.   
  
Tom reaches over and smacks him on the side of the head. “Will you shut the fuck up?” he says. “It’s fine.”  
  
Jared waits another minute before getting up and grabbing the empties again. “All right. Cool. I’ll be back with drinks in a minute.”  
  
Tom keeps his mouth shut and nods. He manages to sit still for the next five minutes, but the second Jensen turns and looks his way Tom waves a hand over his head and calls Jensen over.   
  
He has no idea what he’s doing.   
  
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Jensen is smiling, his face flushed and happy. He sticks his hands in his jeans pockets and rocks back on his heels. If Tom didn’t know Jensen had fucked around with every co-star he’d ever had in his life, he might have even thought him and Jared “hanging out together” was a good idea.   
  
Tom tries to play it cool. “Sit.”  
  
Jensen raises an eyebrow. “Woof?”  
  
“I’m serious, Jensen.” Tom kicks out the chair across from him. Jensen glances from Tom, to the chair, then back to Tom. He waits another second, then straddles it with a sigh.   
  
“Yes, Thomas?” Jensen answers, any trace of a smile are gone: he looks pissed off and ready to brawl. It occurs to Tom that they’re getting ready to fight over Jared’s honor, or some shit, and he almost cracks up right there.   
  
“I was talking to Jared,” Tom starts. Jensen opens his mouth but Tom talks over him. “And he’s a really good guy.”  
  
Jensen snaps his mouth shut. He opens and closes it a few times before saying, “Am I supposed to not know this?”  
  
“He’s a good guy,” Tom continues. “And you’re a dog.” That should do it.   
  
Jensen’s eyes narrow, then shoot wide open. “Oh. You were _talking_ to Jared. Right. Got it,” he says with a nod.   
  
“Right. So just…” Tom tries to be tactful, but still make his point clear. There are no sides now, but if there ever are, Tom wants it to be known which one he'll be on. “Remember, if push comes to shove,” he says quietly as he catches Jensen’s eye, “I will kick your fucking ass.”  
  
If it were anyone other than Jensen, they would be taking this outside. Pushing back from the table, stomping off. But it _is_ Jensen, so he waits a beat, then nods slightly and raises his chin. “Not a problem,” Jensen says.  
  
Tom wants to say something else, something really Terminator, like, “You’re damn _right_ , it’s not!” while he beats his chest, but Jared comes back and interrupts the whole thing. And, the more Tom thinks about it, the gayer this whole ‘stand by your man’ shit seems.   
  
“What’s goin’ on?” Jared asks, grabbing the chair next to Jensen’s and sitting close enough that their legs touch. He looks from Tom to Jensen and back again, no doubt checking for damages.   
  
Tom smiles and tilts his drink in a toast. He’s fine with the way they left things. For now. Jared and Jensen seem to be doing fine, and if Jensen fucks it up, Tom will just kill him. Easy as pie. Tom smiles wider and says, “Nothing, Stretch.”  
  
Jared snorts. “Blow me, little man,” he answers, and they’re off.   
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. “Oh, god. You two are starting this shit again?” he says.  
  
“Maybe, pretty boy,” Jared says around a chuckle. “You wanna start something too?”  
  
“Oh, suck me, bitch,” Jensen fires back.   
  
Tom hears them laugh but he’s too busy aiming his straw at Jared’s head and shooting the wrapper halfway across the table to answer. Yeah, things were going to be fine.   
  
  
  
  
-end-


End file.
